In playwright P. Carl’s very personal and truthful play “Becoming a Man” onstage at Z Space in San Francisco, his theatrical avatar comes across as not entirely likeable.
It’s a daring choice that has nothing to do with the performance of Petey Gibson as Carl, who played the role in the American Repertory Theater world premiere in Massachusetts. It has more to do with Carl’s willingness to present himself warts and all, and his unwillingness to go the distance as a playwright.
A longtime, well-known academician on the American theater scene — he is the senior distinguished artist in residence in performing arts at Emerson College in Boston — Carl based the play on his memoir of the same name about transitioning from “Polly Carl” to his true, masculine self at age 50.
The memoir, like the play, feels more intellectual than emotionally satisfying.
Carl the playwright is relentless in dramatizing the ways in which his true self, released from the lifelong bondage of femininity, proceeds through the psychological stages of that release, in non-chronological order.
“Becoming a Man” is set in an indoor swimming pool. The pale blue, clean set by Randy Wong-Westbrooke has a long panel of water at the foot of the stage, and the multi-level space is an appropriate place where Carl’s story can play out. (Carl says he did not have the courage to learn to swim until he transitioned.)
The play is largely a series of wandering dialogues between Carl and others, including his father, mother, swim instructor, therapist, wife and former female-presenting self, as Carl narrates, tracing his journey. He crams a lot into an hour-and-a-half one-act, although director Lyam B. Gabel keeps the action moving at just the right pace.
It turns out there are plenty of blips along Carl’s path to—well, not to self-acceptance (he accepts his new, true self mostly with unmitigated delight) — but to being accepted by family and friends.
Visiting the rage-aholic father he never got along with, he wonders, “Am I more like him now?” It’s an intriguing thought that’s left unexplored.
His therapist (Word for Word’s JoAnne Winter in several roles) tells him, post-transition, that he’s suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
He goes hiking with an understanding trans friend.
He wonders if he’s a self-centered jerk.
Most significantly, he struggles to stay connected to his wife, Lynette (Laura Domingo), who at first tries to understand his need for a complete physical transition and later finds her own identity as a lesbian threatened by her mate’s new and complete transformation — his muscles, masculine cockiness, etc.
Their relationship is at the heart of the play, but Carl, in trying to convey his newfound joy and confusion, fails to give it the time and deep examination it deserves. Audiences may sympathize more with Lynette than with the play’s most important character, Carl. Maybe that’s OK.
Carl the playwright is brave enough to expose himself, but not with the granular detail required to generate full understanding or sympathy, if that’s the goal of a personal play like this.
“I’m trapped in academic jargon,” sighs Carl as Polly, and perhaps that’s the obstacle in taking this intellectual memoir to the stage.
Ultimately, “Becoming a Man” tells rather than shows what it feels like to become your full true self and risk your most important relationship along the way. Good news, though: Carl and Lynette are still married.
“Becoming a Man” continues through June 14 at Z Space, Steindler Stage, 450 Florida St., San Francisco. Tickets are $55 to $85 at zspace.org.