Asian Indian elders crave sense of belonging while facing America’s looming caregiver gap

ANYONE WHO KNOWS Seetha Appana calls her feisty. In her lifetime she’s carved out a successful career in hospital administration, run a single-parent household — no easy feat in conservative 1960s India — and survived several health threats of her own, including heart failure. 

Today, at 96, she is the beloved core of her family unit in upstate New York, a magnet who draws friends, extended family, and well-wishers into her circle of belonging. In keeping with the perception of aging in her South Asian culture, Appana is exactly where she needs to be — with her adult children who will care for her and her health care needs in her old age.

Thirty-one years ago, Appana arrived in the U.S. from Chennai, India, to live with her daughter and family after she retired. Moving in with them was a natural next step for the then 66-year-old who like many of her generation was following the norm for aging in her culture. In Eastern collectivist societies, older parents reunite with adult children after retirement or in old age. By tradition, it’s where they belong and where they find kinship and care as they age.