TWO MONTHS AFTER dancing with her father inside of San Quentin Rehabilitation Center, Tiara Embrey has died in a head-on traffic collision. She was 28.
Steven Embrey received the devastating news while serving a term inside San Quentin.
“I was sitting at a table in the prison’s dayroom playing cards when my cellmate told me to go and call my son’s mother,” he said. “When I called her, she was crying and she told me, ‘Your daughter is dead.’ I broke down.”
Embrey learned that his daughter died in the early morning hours of June 8, while driving on San Leandro Street in Oakland.
The last time he said he saw his daughter was at San Quentin’s first-ever Parenting Prom. Embrey said he felt fortunate to be one of 17 fathers who got to dress up in tuxedos and watch their beautiful daughters walk down a red carpet. He remembers tying a corsage on his daughter’s wrist and escorting her inside the dance, which took place on April 5.
“I’m so happy I participated in the prom and I got to see her. She was so beautiful that day. I have so many beautiful memories of her. They’re all beautiful memories.”
‘Beautiful memories’ help the grieving
Embrey got to dance with Tiara and his two young step-daughters Ase and Anna. One of the highlight moments was when he did a TikTok dance together with them down the red carpet. They danced, ate food, and played games in the prison’s garden chapel for hours. The entire room had been converted into a ballroom.
Embrey had to graduate from an intensive family communication workshop in order to attend the dance. He had to avoid trouble and attend every class. He said it was well worth it because the class helped him strengthen his relationship with his daughter.
“I remember we talked about reasonable and unreasonable expectations,” he said. “She had a reasonable expectation for me to come home and stay there. She loved me despite the fact that I am in prison.”
Embrey has been in prison for 14 years. He is serving a 50-year sentence. He said that as soon as his daughter turned 18, she always visited him and came to the prison to help celebrate his rehabilitative accomplishments.
The 52-year-old father now proudly displays a tattoo of his daughter’s name on the right side of his neck. She was his only daughter of seven children. Embrey said he also lost a son who died at age 3.
Since the news of his daughter’s death, Embrey said he has been receiving a lot of support from correctional officers, the prison’s mental health department, volunteers and incarcerated peers. He said that being able to talk about his daughter and share memories helps him cope.
“I’m so happy I participated in the prom and I got to see her. She was so beautiful that day. I have so many beautiful memories of her. They’re all beautiful memories.” Steve Embrey, Tiara’s father
The prison administration is also attempting to get approval for Embrey to physically attend his daughter’s funeral. If they are unable to do so, he will likely attend the funeral on Zoom.
“I just want to kiss her one last time,” he said.
Embrey said his daughter accomplished a lot in life and got to travel the world. Although she bore no children, she operated a daycare center and the children she cared for are now devastated.
Tiara Embrey’s funeral is scheduled for Friday in Oakland.
Keeping families connected
CDCR policy recognizes the value of visits to incarcerated people as a means of increasing safety in prisons, maintaining family and community connections, and preparing them for successful release.
Embrey is currently scheduled to be resentenced in Alameda County Superior Court in August.
People at California prisons have been able to enjoy free phone calls and for years have had access to handheld tablets provided by ViaPath.
These tablets are a huge blessing for the population and now Embrey questions why so many people in prison are being deprived.
The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation on June 12 announced that its nearly two-dozen Level III and Level IV facilities — those in the state with the highest security protocols — have been placed on “modified programs” that restrict movement around the facilities and limit some services due to what CDCR said was “a recent and concerning rise in violent incidents directed towards both staff and incarcerated individuals.”
Many of the people in those facilities have been confined to their cells for 24 hours a day every day and their personal visits and telephone communication has been suspended until further notice. Many of these individuals are parents who are unable to speak to their children, Embrey points out.
“We have to be able to cherish every moment,” said Embrey. “Losing a loved one is painful. I am going to miss my daughter.”
Steve Brooks is a California Local News Fellow with Bay City News Foundation, reporting from inside San Quentin Rehabilitation Center. His perspective gives readers insight into issues and news from inside the prison. See more of his work at Inside/Out on Local News Matters.