A FORMER LONG BEACH gang member who was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a California prison credits emotional awareness therapy as the reason he was recently granted parole.
Harry C. Goodall Jr. spent most of his 26 years in prison participating in self-improvement programming. Over the years, he kept track of his transformation process and now uses his experience to facilitate a guided 12-step emotional awareness therapy (EAT) program inside San Quentin Rehabilitation Center.
“‘Change the thoughts, change the behaviors, change the behaviors, change the thoughts,’ is our motto,” said Goodall.
EAT is a 52-week program whose mission is to use the guided mentorship of incarcerated and formerly incarcerated individuals to bring awareness to the effects of misled anger. It teaches the importance of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. The program includes elements of domestic violence prevention, gang awareness and prevention, Alcoholics Anonymous, and cognitive behavioral therapy, among other strategies.
After Goodall joined a street gang, his violence escalated, resulting in his crime of assault with force likely to cause great bodily injury. During his early prison years, he continued to engage in acts of violence that landed him in the prison’s administrative segregation units.
“I got my first ‘ah ha’ moment sitting in a cell in the hole reading a letter from my little brother,” he said. “He was telling me that he had been put in timeout and that if I would be good that I could get out of timeout like him. I understood then that I had to set a better example for my little brother.”
Hidden ACEs
The first self-help group Goodall attended was called “Life without A Crutch” while he was at Centinela State Prison. He said the program showed him that alcohol and drugs were not the only things people can be addicted to. Goodall determined he was addicted to gangs and a criminal lifestyle.
While participating in self-help, he also learned about adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs, which are traumatic events that occur before age 18 and include abuse, neglect, and exposure to domestic violence. He took the ACEs test and discovered his score was higher than 10. He had a 12, indicating an excessively traumatic experience.
“I remember suppressing a lot of ACEs growing up,” he said. “I learned that I needed to heal from all that stuff.”
ACEs are linked to negative health outcomes, lifelong instability, and increased risks of future violent victimization and perpetration, according to the Urban Institute social policy research think tank. An estimated 97% of people in prison have experienced at least one ACE, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The EAT program teaches that at the core of criminality are distorted thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that spring up from a place of childhood hurt. The belief systems that develop are designed to protect the wounded inner child who was subjected to abuse and other adverse experiences, according to the program’s workbook.
Goodall begins his group sessions with a guided meditation practice and grounding exercise. He asks each of his 25 participants to close their eyes or focus on one place in the room and take deep breaths to dispel the toxic air from their core. He guides them to eliminate negative thoughts and bring themselves into the present moment. Once this exercise is complete, he has them repeat two positive affirmations.
“I am worthy of attention and love,” the group repeats. “I am better than my worst day,” they repeat for the second affirmation.
“We use a multifaceted approach to get at the ACEs that have led to each participant’s criminality,” said Goodall. “Unresolved childhood trauma, alcohol or substance abuse and unhealthy relationships are often at the core of the problem.”
Seeing their flaws
Estrella Redondo is a participant in the program.
“This is for someone having problems finding themselves,” said Redondo. “It gets into the details about trauma and family issues. It opened my eyes to my flaws.”
Redondo said this is her second time taking the program because it has been the most impactful during 20 years of incarceration.
“Being able to open up and share some of my trauma in front of a crowd of people gave me courage. Once you’re able to talk about it, you’re able to heal. There’s no shame and guilt,” she said.
Alex Monette came to prison at the age of 19. He has been inside 35 years. Now in his 50s, he is still learning to connect to his emotions.
“This group allows me to talk about my pain,” he said. “It’s a safe space. I feel strong and confident in this space.”
Monette said he learned that his father’s alcohol abuse caused him a lot of trauma.
“When I understood the feelings and connected them to my actions, I understood where the trauma came from and how it impacted me for the first time,” he said.
“Being able to open up and share some of my trauma in front of a crowd of people gave me courage. Once you’re able to talk about it, you’re able to heal. There’s no shame and guilt.” Estrella Redondo, EAT program participant
Goodall hopes that with his upcoming freedom, he will now be able to take the EAT program to the outside community. He envisions using incarcerated and formerly Incarcerated ambassadors to teach the program in high schools. He wants EAT to be a diversion program for young people to get the help they need before going to jail or prison.
“I am doing this for my children and all children who are going to grow up and face the same problems we faced,” said Goodall. “It’s about giving them an opportunity to learn how to manage their emotions and stay in control of their behaviors. We have the lived experience and we need to hand it off to them to protect their life and public safety.”
Steve Brooks is a California Local News Fellow with Bay City News Foundation, reporting from inside San Quentin Rehabilitation Center. His perspective gives readers insight into issues and news from inside the prison. See more of his work at Inside/Out on Local News Matters.